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[setpoint]

This will look pretty later!

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un:castiglione

[oorah]

you were asking about doors on the network?

[setpoint]

Yes. Why?

[oorah]

we encountered an anomaly. if it could be called that.

door turned to liquid and trapped my friend inside.

[setpoint]

It turned to liquid? What do you mean?

[oorah]

what's on the tin, lady. didn't say it made any sense.

we had to wait for it to happen again to get her out

action!!!

[wentnuclear]

[ Raleigh doesn't sleep well at the best of times. He's a chronic insomniac and despite working out to exhaustion like he usually does, the stress of their current situation keeps him up most nights. When he does drift off it's light and fitful, brief glimpses of nightmare scenarios and memory. Still, he tries, because everyone needs to sleep. It's his turn on the floor and that doesn't help, so tonight he's just lying there with his eyes closed and fingers crossed when a cold wave of terror passes over him.

There's no cause for it, that he's aware of. He wasn't thinking about anything in particular, and though he's definitely not a bastion of stability... this kind of feeling doesn't usually come from nowhere. He frowns a little, consciously evens his breathing out to try and counter it, but it doesn't stop. Then he catches Mako shifting on the bed out of the corner of his eye and realizes. It's her fear. She's dreaming and he's feeling it. Usually the ghost drift is subtle enough and they're on a similar enough page that he doesn't really notice it, but now it's coming through loud and clear.

Without hesitating, Raleigh pushes himself up from the floor and crosses to the bed, the metal flooring icy on his bare feet. Space is fucking cold. ]

Mako?

[ She doesn't wake immediately, which prompts him to settle his hand on her shoulder. Not shaking, not wanting to scare her worse, just gripping with a firm but gentle pressure. ]

Mako, wake up.

[setpoint]

[Mako's been having nightmares for as long as she can remember, but in the years since Onibaba's attack, they're gotten easier to manage. They fit a certain pattern and she knows what to expect. After Operation Pitfall, all that changes, and Onibaba melts into Knifehead who melts into Slattern, tearing into Tokyo or Gipsy or Striker. Somehow, the worst dreams are the ones where Sensei survives, because no matter how real the dream feels, Mako knows that they're cheating something, that her time with him in limited, and that no matter what else happens, he'll be torn away from her in the end.

When Raleigh wakes her up, she doesn't panic, but she does grab for his hand instinctively. There are tears on her cheeks and her heart is racing, and she doesn't remember exactly what she was dreaming about, but it doesn't matter. All of her dreams have the same result—she won't be sleeping again tonight. The only difference is that now Raleigh has to deal with them too, whether through their connection or simply by being woken up, and she can't shake the odd mixture of guilt and embarrassment she feels as she blinks up at him.]

I... I'm sorry. I'm okay.

[wentnuclear]

[ There's no way for him to know what she was dreaming about specifically, only that it's painful for her. He lets go of her shoulder to hold her hand instead, half-sitting on the edge of the bed. Instinct tells him to reach up and wipe away the tears, but he isn't sure if she'd be okay with that. ]

Don't worry about it. You didn't wake me or anything, I was already up.

[ What now, though? Would she want to talk about it? Probably not... Raleigh rubs his thumb across the back of her hand and just studies her for a moment. The curves of her face in the dim emergency lighting. ]

...you don't have to be okay, you know. Not around me.

[setpoint]

[She isn't sure if he's telling the truth about being awake, though she knows his sleep isn't usually great either. She's not sure how to respond to it, but then he distracts her by taking her hand. Mako curls her fingers around his, trying to be surreptitious while wiping her tears away and utterly failing. He's managing to catch her off guard again like he always does.]

I know I don't.

[Honestly, Raleigh is the only person she feels comfortable being totally honest with, but that doesn't mean it's easy to navigate. She's used to keeping people at arm's length, and opening up is tricky, even with their connection, so she's quiet for a moment.]

I wish things had gone differently.

[wentnuclear]

[ Raleigh is patient. He doesn't push her, just lets her wipe her face with her free hand and holds the other, grip warm and firm. If she didn't say anything at all that would have been fine, too, but then she does, and he nods a little in acknowledgement. ]

We did our best. All of us. But I'm sorry it went how it did.

[setpoint]

I know. And I know it was what he wanted, but...

[But even though they closed the breach, and even though Mako had always know Pentecost was living on borrowed time, somehow that didn't make the loss of him any easier. It's like part of her is missing, as much as she's been trying to shove it aside and focus on their current situation. Raleigh can understand that, she knows, and she squeezes his hand gently, willing her breathing to steady.]

[wentnuclear]

What he wanted was to save us all. He did that. Sometimes that just... means sacrifice. He went out a hero to the whole world, nobody's ever going to forget him. So he'll always be with us. Always.

[ He shifts a little, tugging on Mako's hand. If she'll sit up he'll hug her, and maybe some of his certainty will pass to her. ]

[setpoint]

[Somehow Raleigh knows exactly what to say, and while it doesn't make the loss go away, she knows he's right. Her vision blurs again, but before she can wipe her tears away he's tugging her up, and she doesn't even think about it before she hugs him back, burying her face in his shoulder.]

[wentnuclear]

[ Raleigh lets go of her hand then to wrap both arms around her, stroking up and down her back soothingly. ]

It just takes time. You'll be okay, you've just gotta let yourself grieve.

[ He's aware he's not the best example of this, but so much of why he wants to live again is Mako. He doesn't know if he could ever be that for her, give her the strength to push through, but maybe he can give her some of her own strength back. ]

[setpoint]

[Mako nods against him, realizing she's clinging and not having the energy to care. She knows he's right, even if he didn't deal with his brother's death in the healthiest way. That was different, though, a unique sort of trauma. She can't blame him.]

You still dream about Yancy, don't you?

Action, post musical event

[tumang]

[ When Amos says he's been trying to avoid everyone, he means it. He really did his very best to see as many people as possible as music blared through the station, preferring to spend time tryinf to find the source of the music rather than face anyone he could either end up wanting to murder or to fuck. He’d been struggling with every single feeling, every sibgle day where he managed to doze for an hour and would come back up to just as much music as there was the day before, loud and impossible and still the same, after days and days.

And then one day, it was all over. Quiet grew back around the station, welcomed and amazing. Amos slept for hours, longer than he had in years probably, slept and slept and slept and slept and then emerged from his quarters feeling like a completely new man. Back to normal.

Might be time to check in on a few people. He knows the crew is okay - depending on what ‘okay’ means to some, so Amos actually goes to visit someone completely different, and he goes to Mako. Hed be sad if she’d gotten hurt.

He knocks at her crew quarters’ door, leaning against the wall by the side of it as he waits, not even sure she’s there at all. ]

[setpoint]

[When Mako answers the door, she doesn't look nearly as polished and together as usual. She's wearing a slightly oversized, hand knit multicolor sweater, and her hair is sticking up a bit in the back. It's obvious she's been sleeping, and she blinks when she sees Amos.]

Hi.

[She's glad to see him, actually. The last few days have been miserable.]

How are you doing?

[tumang]

[ At the sweater, Amos has to raise an eyebrow, a smirk appearing on his lips - he can't help it. She looks like she's just woken up, and it's adorable, honestly. Amos wouldn't use that word lightly. ]

I'm fine. Nice sweater.

[ He isn't fine, but whatever. He can pretend well enough, after getting enough sleep to feel like himself again. Right now, he is at his best. ]

Sorry, didn't mean to wake you up. You make up for lost times?

[setpoint]

[Mako tugs at the bottom of the sweater absently, but doesn't respond to the smirk.]

A little bit. Are you feeling alright?

[tumang]

Yeah. Just -

[ Amos shrugs, twirling a screwdriver between his fingers as he does, looking away from Mako for a moment. ]

Just checking on a couple people. You're the first.

[ Looking back at her: ] you alone?

[setpoint]

[He seems upset, and Mako isn't very good at comforting people or cheering them up, but she still wants to try. She nods, stepping back to let him in.]

...Would you like to talk?

[tumang]

[ He's surprised when she nods. ]

Where's the puppy?

[ He doesn't mean it in a bad way, he likes Raleigh. But where Mako is concerned, the shoe fits. Still, he steps in, digging his hands in his jumpsuit's pockets. ]

Been a weird few days, huh? Did anything you wouldn't usually do?

[setpoint]

The puppy?

[It takes her a split second to realize he means Raleigh, and she smiles a little.]

Training, I think. What do you mean by something I wouldn't usually do?

[tumang]

[ He smiles back, before looking away again, uncertain as he observes the smoothness of the wall by his side. ]

Just - stuff you'd think twice about. Stuff you'd usually think is a bad idea, or realize it's a bad idea, and so you don't do it. Like, punch someone because they made one stupid comment. Or steal someone else's tools. Something like that. Something you wouldn't usually do.

[ He's done none of these things, but he's done enough. ]

[setpoint]

I don't think so, but we were all sleep deprived. It would make sense if people weren't behaving normally.

[She's not sure that's comforting, though.]

Did something happen?