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[setpoint]

This will look pretty later!

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[wentnuclear]

What he wanted was to save us all. He did that. Sometimes that just... means sacrifice. He went out a hero to the whole world, nobody's ever going to forget him. So he'll always be with us. Always.

[ He shifts a little, tugging on Mako's hand. If she'll sit up he'll hug her, and maybe some of his certainty will pass to her. ]

[setpoint]

[Somehow Raleigh knows exactly what to say, and while it doesn't make the loss go away, she knows he's right. Her vision blurs again, but before she can wipe her tears away he's tugging her up, and she doesn't even think about it before she hugs him back, burying her face in his shoulder.]

[wentnuclear]

[ Raleigh lets go of her hand then to wrap both arms around her, stroking up and down her back soothingly. ]

It just takes time. You'll be okay, you've just gotta let yourself grieve.

[ He's aware he's not the best example of this, but so much of why he wants to live again is Mako. He doesn't know if he could ever be that for her, give her the strength to push through, but maybe he can give her some of her own strength back. ]

[setpoint]

[Mako nods against him, realizing she's clinging and not having the energy to care. She knows he's right, even if he didn't deal with his brother's death in the healthiest way. That was different, though, a unique sort of trauma. She can't blame him.]

You still dream about Yancy, don't you?

[wentnuclear]

[ Yeah, he kinda sucked at coping but he's also the only person in the world to have ever experienced that specific loss. Not just the death of someone important, but his own mind being ripped apart as Yancy was torn out. He wasn't only devastated and guilt-ridden, he was broken on another level. No one who tried to help him could possibly understand that part, so he'd just given up on the therapy, the usual techniques. Stacker's death is tragic but... much more the normal way of things. Hopefully Mako will be able to process her grief in a more normal way as well. ]

I do. [ He admits it softly, keeping up the gentle touches. ] ....do you, now?

[setpoint]

[She nods again, letting out another shaky breath, but his touch is relaxing her, slowly but surely. Without thinking, she smoothes her hand down his back, mimicking him.]

Yes. Sometimes I can't tell if they're your dreams or mine.

[wentnuclear]

[ That's... unexpected, and Raleigh isn't actually sure what to do with it. He shivers a little at being touched so simply after so long, affected even though he knows she's likely just mirroring him. Aiming to comfort in return now that they're dredging up his trauma as well. ]

No way to know for sure. You saw it, you felt it, they're just as much yours now. Sometimes I dream about Onibaba.

[setpoint]

[He shivers and she hesitates, not sure how to read that. After a second or so, she just keeps her hand still, rubbing her thumb against his skin softly. She's not sure if that's okay, but then he mentions Onibaba, and her attention shifts.]

You do?

[It really shouldn't be unexpected. Logically, Mako knows what the effects of drifting are. It isn't like they didn't go over them a million times in the academy, but experiencing that connection for herself is much, much different.]

[wentnuclear]

[ It's just cold, okay? Space is cold and he's practically naked. That's it! ]

Yeah. It happens. I've even heard of some co-pilots dreaming the same thing the same night, but I don't know if it's true. Never happened with me and Yancy, I don't think.

[setpoint]

[It's an odd thought. A few months ago, she might have thought of it as almost invasive, but with Raleigh, she doesn't.]

Do you know what I was dreaming about tonight?

[wentnuclear]

[ He shakes his head a little, feeling her hair brush against his cheek. ]

No idea. But I wasn't asleep.

[setpoint]

[Hmm.]

I really didn't wake you up?

[He said that she didn't, but she's still wondering if that was just to make her feel better.]

[wentnuclear]

Nope. You think I was trying to spare your feelings or something?

[ Sorry, he's just an insomniac. But maybe he can lighten the mood a little. ]

I'd be much crankier if you woke me.

[ Lies. ]

[setpoint]

[She lets out a soft, disbelieving huff.]

You wouldn't be.

[Because he never, ever seems to get cranky with her, even when she deserves it.]

You still haven't been sleeping well?

[wentnuclear]

Nah. I wouldn't.

[ He really is getting cold, though, and considering pulling away to go fetch his blanket off the floor. ]

The insomnia's always worse when I'm stressed. It'll pass.

[setpoint]

Is there anything I can do to help?

[wentnuclear]

[ Raleigh's brow furrows a little, not that she can see his face at the moment. He never really found a way to cope with this either. ]

I don't know. Nothing's really worked before. But I'm freezing, so...

[ Yeah, he's very reluctantly pulling away and leaning down to grab his blanket, wrapping it around his shoulders like a cloak and then settling back on the edge of her bed. He's not going anywhere, just was sort of turning into a popsicle. ]

[setpoint]

[She can't hide her disappointment when he pulls away, and she's not sure how to reinitiate the contact, or if she even should. After a second, she shoves her nerves aside and leans her shoulder into his carefully. This is fine, right?]

Would taking the bed more often help?

[wentnuclear]

[ Oh. Okay, yes, this is fine. The angle is awkward, though, he should... hold on. He's gonna turn the other way, so they're facing the same direction instead of each other and he can wrap the blanket around her shoulders too. Once she grabs that end he does drop his arm, but only to settle it loosely around her waist. She can keep leaning. ]

We had a deal. It's not the floor that's the problem.

[setpoint]

[Oh. She wasn't expecting that. It makes her heart skip a beat, but she tries to ignore that. This is fine. It doesn't mean anything at all.]

Is it just the dreams? Is your arm bothering you?

[wentnuclear]

[ He might as well just get in the damn bed at this point, it'd be warmer for them both, but they're in their underwear and he is a gentleman who doesn't want to make her uncomfortable.

This line of questioning is kind of frustrating, though, because he honestly doesn't know. ]

Mako, I don't... maybe?

[setpoint]

[His frustration is pretty obvious, ghost drift or no.]

I'm sorry. It must be exhausting.

[wentnuclear]

[ He exhales heavily through his nose, trying to compose himself a little. Getting frustrated helps nothing. In fact that usually makes it even harder to rest, the nights where he's angry at himself for not being able to sleep. ]

It is. But it's also nothing new. I'm fine.

[setpoint]

[Mako nods, but doesn't say anything. She has an idea, although it's probably an awful one, and if he reacts badly she might die, but... she's still shaken up, and she really doesn't want him to leave.]

...We could share the bed tonight.

[wentnuclear]

[ Mako suggests sharing the bed, which in nearly a month here they've never even discussed, though he's sure thought about it. And what expectations it could imply. He goes still and quiet, then remembers that breathing is necessary to life and he should be doing that at least. ]

...it's big enough. [ He says it carefully, agreeably, logically. ] And it'd be warmer.

[ She's not suggesting anything besides comfort, it's fine. This won't be weird at all. ]